It is beyond imagination the magnitude of atrocities mothers commit to do away with their unwanted babies. Most likely than not, they love their babies. As it often happens, what one wishes may not be feasible, especially in this case, bearing the responsibility of bringing up a baby. Their resources are terribly limited. In their frustration and hopelessness, they do not fancy rearing their babies within the unpredictable and invariably hostile vicissitudes of life that manipulate their own lives. In spite of themselves, they lack the courage to smother life out of their beloved babies. With what could only have been the uttermost agony, they throw away the precious packet in a nonchalant manner so as not to attract attention to themselves. Most likely, the particular mother would stand far off, praying that her baby would be found and saved just in time. If the baby was discovered and saved, with a heavy heart and tear-filled eyes, she would wish her baby good luck and a quality of life better than she could ever provide. That was what Moses mother thought.

In my town, Abeokuta, Nigeria, a baby boy was abandoned in an open gutter near a market, close to a railway station and near a taxi park, in an environment where no one keeps the streets clean. Good thing it rains often. Thats when the gutters are cleaned by nature, free of charge. You can imagine the unhealthy condition of the gutters even a few days after it rained. The babys umbilical cord was yet to be severed. The mothers prayers must have been answered as the baby was picked up before he got too seriously infected. He was taken to the General Hospital for treatment. Luckily for him, it was possible to rid him of all infections. At the end of that, there was no available space for him at the Childrens Home. So, he had to remain in the hospital where all the care he received was feeding and changing of diapers when convenient, for a period of eight months before he was transferred to the Childrens Home. Two months later, a friend of mine went there to explore the possibility of adopting a baby. He listened to the history of each child. Eventually, he made his choice. It was this boy. He looked most healthy and most handsome.

One of the things he was told about the boy was that at bed time every night, he would bang his head on the side of his crib to exhaustion and sleep. This was a direct result of the trauma due to neglect he went through at the hospital. My friend was ignorant enough to underrate the possible follow-ups and consequences of that trauma. The immediate result was that on the first night, the head banging caused distress to the couple. Initially, the head banging lasted for about two hours, accompanied by profuse sweating. When they put him on their bed, and there was nothing to band his head against, he was distraught and cried violently. Apparently, confusion was added to his trauma. They understood that the baby was manifesting the outcome of neglect and lack of love. Without any hesitation, they did all they could to rectify the wrongs of the past months. In about three weeks, the head banging time had reduced to less than one hour.

I was in my friends house one evening, in company with my wife and child of about the same age. That of course, was not our first visit. However on this particular day, that boy, now about two, displayed unbelievable high level of unprovoked violence against my child. No one was in doubt that he could kill, even at that age. It was alarming. We all assumed that his biological parents were hardened criminals. Later events proved us wrong.

As he grew up, he was completely disinterested in everything. He wanted nothing. He desired nothing. Nothing cheered him or lifted his spirit. He would not smile. If you try to draw him out into a conversation, he would stare past you as if you were not there.

At four, he was registered into a kindergarten class in a private school. A public school would have nurtured his wicked and merciless outbreaks. His performance in school was hopeless and without any pattern. No one was sure whether he did not know the answers all the time or simply could not be bothered. On the whole, he did poorly. The class teacher noticed his erratic performance. She advised that promoting him would do no harm as he was likely to pickup with time.

Seven going eight, he presented his dad with a poser. He asked: Dad, where were you at that time? The dad was dumbfounded that the boy remembered what happened to him before he was adopted at ten months old. He didnt know what to say on the spot. The boy insisted: You know, at that time. This was unbelievable. So the boy was not idiotic as he seemed at times. What exactly was going on in his mind? As a result of the love showered on him, the boy was not in doubt my friend was his biological daddy. Was he feeling revengeful or was simply demanding answers?

In the presence of genuine love, the effect of the trauma of the first ten months of his life completely wore off after nine years. He would respond to your banter with a smile. His facial appearance was relaxed, and there was kindliness in his eyes. His school performance rose above average. He was ready to soar.

Let us construct a reasonable scenario. A man suffered neglect in his youth. He cannot show love because he does not know what it is. He in turn neglects his four children. In fact, he is in jail. The woman his lifestyle could attract was just like him. All the children grew up without experiencing what sharing love is. Violence is natural with them. They all have children who will suffer neglect due to the circumstances of their lives. When and how can the chain be broken? This is not a gene problem. It is a problem of recurring neglect. The correction institutions are here to stay. Maybe we should consider setting up another institution that would make up for what is missing from the lives of our young ones so as to prevent them from needing the correction homes. The society in general will be the better for it.